.\"------- .\" I made some formatting improvements. -dws .\"------- .\" From: overby@sendit.nodak.edu (Glen Overby) .\" Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny .\" Subject: date(6) get or set a date .\" Keywords: original, computer, maybe .\" Message-ID: .\" Date: 27 Mar 92 09:30:05 GMT .\" Lines: 106 .\" Approved: funny@clarinet.com .\" .\" (I wrote this, but the idea came from a friend) .\" .TH DATE 1fun "January 1, 1992" .UC 4 .SH NAME date \- get and print a date .SH SYNOPSIS .B date .RB [ \-s ] .RB [ \-local ] .RB [ \-k ] .RB [ \-blind ] .IR option = value ... .SH DESCRIPTION If no arguments are given, a date will be selected at random. Providing an argument will restrict the search pool of dates. Hopefully these arguments will not carry forward into the actual date. Only the superuser can select dates by name. .PP The .B \-s option registers you in the date database and (if not .BR \-local ) posts your vitals to alt.personals (and, optionally, alt.sex.wanted). .PP Using the .B \-k option selects a date, but does not make any further arrangements. .PP Ranges are specified with parentheses and brackets: (18,25) is 18 to 25 exclusive while [18,25] is 18 to 25 inclusive. An array of selections is given with braces such as ``{blonde, brunette, redhead}''. Multiple responses are separated with commas, as in ``sex=female,yes,please''. .TP .B \-blind To arrange a blind date. .PP .BR view [=\c .IR must ] .PD 0 .IP .PD View prospective date's picture. To locate a picture, .I date searches several picture databases, including FaceSaver (uunet.uu.net) alt.sec.pictures, alt.binaries.pictures.erotica, and several FTP gif archives. You must have access to the Internet for FTP to work. .IP If view=must is set, and .I date is unable to find a picture, a request will be automatically posted to alt.binaries.pictures.d asking for one. .IP Options to .IR xv (1) may follow "view" or be put in the environment parameter XV. .PP The following options restrict the search pool to those who have supplied the necessary information. .TP .BI dim= range,range,range .TP .BI height= range Synonyms are also supported: midget, twerp, short, beanstalk, giant, basketball-player .TP .BI weight= range Synonyms: toothpic, feather, wide-load, blimp .TP .BI age= range Synonyms: juvenile, underage, thirty-nine, over-the-hill, {mom, dad}, {grandma, grandpa} .PP .BR sex= "{male, female}"\c [,{yes, no, maybe}]\c .RI "[," opt = sex "(6) options]" .PD 0 .IP .PD If sex=yes and you are registering, your vitals are posted to alt.sex.wanted in addition to alt.personals. .TP .BR race= "{white, black, native-american, ...}" Various slang terms are also supported. .TP .BR marriage= "{flirting, noway, maybe, once, twice, several}" Seriousness and experience. .PP .BR kids= "{never, rightaway, oops, have, want}"\c [,{one, two, three, four, bunch}] .PD 0 .IP .PD Domestic leanings. .TP .BR cooking= "{never, loveit, when_hungry}" .TP .B color Synonym for race. .TP .BR religion= "{Atheist, Moslem, Lutheran, Catholic, ...}" .TP .BR temper= "{mellow, quiet, hot-head}" .PP .BR interests=\c .RI { "lists of possible interests" } .PP .BR name=\c .IR lastname , firstname .PD 0 .IP .PD Specify name of your date. Perfect for hitting on. Names can only be specified by super-user. .SH FILES .IP "$HOME/.daterc" Optional place to store options, for frequent daters. .IP "$HOME/.datehist" History of dates, to avoid duplication. .IP "$HOME/.persona" Options describing yourself, if you haven't registered in the database. Note that the first time you use .I date and supply this information, you are registered in the blind-date database. .SH SEE ALSO .IR man (1), .IR woman (1), .IR sex (6) .PP .IR "RFC1036: Standard for exchange of USENET messages" , M. Horton and R. Adams. .PP .IR "A Primer on how to work with the USENET community" , Chuq Von Rospach and Gene ``net.god'' Spafford. .SH DIAGNOSTICS Exit status is 0 on success, 1 on complete failure to get a date. .PP ``You are not superuser: date not set'' if you try to use the name parameter but are not the super-user. .PP ``Vitals posted to alt.personals [,alt.sex.wanted]'' when you register globally. .SH AUTHOR Won't admit to it!